


My Hands Are Tied

by JessicaStarscream



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst, Bad Decisions, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Masochism, Physical Abuse, Regret, Sadism, Starscream is both physically and emotionally masochistic, Transformers Spark Bonds, Unhealthy Relationships, and it hurts him, not really non-con but could be triggering, yearning for an unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 11:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17446436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaStarscream/pseuds/JessicaStarscream
Summary: “I don’t need you I… I don’t want you anymore! Shut up!”“You cannot escape me.”





	My Hands Are Tied

**Author's Note:**

> This fic involves spark bonding but I would like to clarify that none of my stories involve sparklings. As well as this, Megatron and Starscream are NOT conjunx because it was only a partial spark bond. The idea of this is that because they share a bit of each other's sparks, they will always have some sort of connection. Starscream will have a very tough time escaping Megatron's torment. 
> 
>  
> 
> This fic explores both physical and emotional abuse, and the idea of being addicted to/fascinated by toxic relationships. I sort of wrote it to work through some stuff so yeah it's a bit heavy. Use your discretion!

It was night. 

 

The skies were darker than normal, the stars only faint specks in the distace. Beneath such a dismal sky lay Starscream, who was being slowly closed in on by its hazy blackness. 

Normally, Starscream would be flying three times light speed through it by now, but at this point in time, he couldn’t bring himself to. 

He was too busy thinking about Megatron.

It would make sense for Starscream to feel a sense of smug pride over being finally rid of Megatron’s wrath. And whenever the realization came as a passing thought, he did. 

Starscream escaped, Starscream outsmarted the almighty Megatron! 

But right then, the notion only filled the decepticon seeker with pain. 

There was a longing in Starscream’s spark chamber. 

It wasn’t quite sadness, but it was a physical pain, the kind sometimes induced with the excited sort of anxiety. No matter what he did, he couldn’t quite shake it, and the only thing on his processor was his former master. 

Those red glowing eyes… sharp, menacing teeth… strong servos…. Towering over Starscream with clenched fists and ruined agendas, sharp claws and inflated egos. Nobody would leave that exchange without a bruise, or torn vocallizer intake, or energon strewn across the floor, scars patterning the frame… And that “Nobody” was always Starsceam. 

The worst part was that Megatron knew and took pride in the pain he caused the seeker. The fearful look in his optics, the begging hitch in his voice, scared flutter of his wings, flinching, feelings of devaluation… Megatron loved seeing Starscream like that, and he had no shame in it. 

Starscream took a deep invent. He was free, he reminded himself. But the sky was still closing in, and his spark still yearned for something… 

Megatron’s red glowing eyes, sharp, menacing teeth, strong servos, clenched fists and ruined agendas, his sharp claws and inflated egos… They made Starscream want to kiss him, truth be told. They made Starscream wish to Primus that he was pinned down underneath him. That with a glare of hatred, the warlord would grasp sensually at his fragile wings, stroke them until he couldn’t take it anymore, and they’d forget about anything else before and after that one sparkling moment and frag until they were one… 

“Stop it!” 

Starscream grasped at his helm, and begged for those dirty, dirty thoughts to go away. But they wouldn’t go away, and in his head, he was getting fragged hard by his worst nightmare. 

“I don’t need you I… I don’t want you anymore! Shut up!”

“You cannot escape me.”

Starscream flinched at the sound. 

“Megatron we...”

It was then that Starscream realized that the voice, and that awful feeling that it chased was coming from his own spark chamber. The same spark chamber that he tried so often to forget contained a tiny bit of a certain warlord’s spark. 

“We never should have.”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Vorns earlier, during the heat of the war, the decepticons had just returned from battle. The Nemesis was buzzing with tension, controversy over each factions’ respective wins and losses. The decepticons had certainly lost some of their numbers, but as a whole, still seemed to have the tactical highground. 

Starscream tailed close behind Megatron, trying desperately to explain a certain aerial order he had executed without permission of the warlord. 

“You have no right to speak upon this matter, Starscream. You have disobeyed me.”

“But Master!” Starscream pleaded, wings flicking anxiously “It was only as I saw fit for the strike on-”

“You saw fit!” Megatron boomed, smacking Starscream harshly across the faceplates, “But it appears you saw wrong.”

The seeker coughed up a small bit of blue. 

“Master please.”

By then, the two had reached Megatron’s quarters, as the lord in question planned on recharging after battle. But now he had other ideas. 

“You will do as I say, seeker.” Megatron snapped, yanking Starscream by the wing, and slamming the door to his quarters behind them. There was an air of smugness about his tone. 

“Y-yes Lord Megatron.”

“You are a failure,” he said, this time in a slow, almost sensual tone, and pinned Starscream down threateningly at the edge of his berth. 

The move made Starscream’s spark pound. 

“I will take whatever you have planned for me, Master,” Starscream whimpered. 

“Oh,” Megatron crooned, “I know you will.”

Soon, lipplates were on lipplates, and fans whirred feverishly. As soon as Starscream felt his panel click open, he knew it was too late for him. 

The violence and lust seemed to mesh into something more intoxicating, and before either bot knew what they were doing, their spark chambers were open. The bond was only partial, just a fraction of Megatron’s spark for his own, a small piece of each other. It was an ode to a feeling that could not, and still cannot be described. But in the moment of their bond, both Megatron and Starscream felt it. 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Starscream should have never bonded with Megatron. He never should have kissed him. He never should have even talken his trouncings from the beginning, considering how much some sick, sad part of him liked them. 

But there Starscream was, lying alone under a depressing sky, with a tiny piece of Megatron’s spark pulsing in his own, yearning for the love of the one who ultimately provided him only with abuse. 

He loved Megatron just as much as he hated him. And judging by the feeling in his spark, Megatron felt exactly the same. 

“I wish I did not need you…”

But it was no use. 

The skies were darker than normal, the stars only faint specks in the distace. Beneath such a dismal sky lay Starscream, who was being slowly closed in on by its hazy blackness. 

Normally, Starscream would be flying three times light speed through it by now, but at this point in time, he couldn’t bring himself to.

He was too busy thinking about Megatron.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Cruel Youth's "Portrait of a Female"
> 
> "I wish I don’t need you  
> I’ve been so deprived  
> Boy, when I’m with you  
> My hands are tied  
> My hands are tied"
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!!! I love you all.


End file.
